Moulin Rurouni
by Kenshin's Radish
Summary: Kenshin is sick and has a really weird dream...he becomes Shinta the Sparkling Swordsman! 1-shot.


Moulin Rurouni  
By: Kendra Noelle  
  
Disclaimer: With great misfortune, I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, nor do I  
own Moulin Rouge.merde.  
  
"Kenshin? Kenshin? Wake up Kenshin!" hollered Kaoru as she banged on the door that led to the rurouni's room. There was no answer. "Kenshin, I know you're in there, now you'll get your swordsman butt out here or you'll miss breakfast." She heard nothing but a muffled sneeze followed by a series of hacking coughs. "Kenshin?" asked Kaoru as she gently opened the door. There, the wandering swordsman that is Kenshin, was curled up under the many quilts he had on his futon. Kaoru knelt next to him and peeled back the layers of blankets to reveal a very sick and sweaty rurouni. "Kenshin! You're burning up!" cried Kaoru as she put the back of her hand on Kenshin's forehead.  
Kenshin, with great effort, brought his arm up to his face and coughed into the crook of his arm, "I'm really sorry Kaoru-dono. I know you expected me to clean the dojo, but during the night I just got so sick! I'm really sorry, that I am."  
Kaoru shook her head, even though he was frightfully ill, he still worried about what he had to do for her. "It's no big deal Kenshin," she said, brushing Kenshin's damp hair out of his face, "I'll take care of you, Yahiko can clean, Sano can pitch in."  
Kenshin sat up suddenly, "Do you think that is a wise decision?"  
Kaoru gently pushed Kenshin back down on the futon, "Don't worry, I'll make sure that nothing bad happens. After all, I invited Master Hiko to come for a visit, he'll be here tomorrow."  
Kenshin sat up again, "You what!?"  
Kaoru shook her head again, "Well it's nearly Christmas and I thought it would be a pleasant surprise, in fact, he sounded fairly excited about it in the letter he sent back to me."  
"Oh, Kaoru, you really shouldn't have."  
"I know I've outdone myself haven't I?"  
"No, Kaoru, you REALLY shouldn't have!"  
Kaoru's face darkened, "What do you mean by that Mr. Himura.the fact that I give you shelter and food isn't enough? I thought you'd be happy!" her eyes watered with frustrated and disappointed tears, "Kenshin, you're such a jerk! I only was trying to cheer you up!" Kaoru stood up to flee the room. "Oh, and by the way, Saitou's coming for a visit as well!" With that she slammed the door shut, leaving one stunned and ill rurouni sitting confused on his futon. I'll never understand women, thought Kenshin, shaking his head as he curled back under the covers and fell back to sleep.  
  
"Yahiko! Change of plans, we aren't going to have lessons today."  
"ALRIGHT!"  
"Instead, we are going to clean up the dojo. Master Hiko will be here tomorrow for Christmas, as will Saitou, and we need this dojo shining like new!"  
"WHAT!? Saitou is coming for Christmas?"  
"Yes, of course! With his wife, Tokio's mother in poor health, she had to go to Osaka to care for her, Saitou will be all alone. I know you don't get along with him very well, but it's Christmas, the time of forgiving and FORGETTING!"  
Yahiko shook his head, "But isn't it Kenshin's chore to clean the dojo?"  
"Kenshin's feeling a bit under the weather. I'm going to go make him some soup. You start cleaning, I'll help later. When Sano gets here, tell him to help as well."  
"Yes ugly."  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!"  
"Yes.sempai."  
"That's better, now off you go!"  
  
Meanwhile, Kenshin fell into a deep sleep, and began to dream.  
  
"Allow me to introduce.Shinta! The Sparkling Swordsman!" announced a tall man with long raven hair and ridiculously broad shoulders that were covered by an enormous cape.  
A man with long flaming hair, wearing nothing but a pair of silken boxer shorts comes down from the ceiling on a trapeze.  
"There he is! The Sparkling Swordsman," said a young boy with spiky black hair to a young woman whose hair was tied up in a spunky ponytail. She's speechless. "You need to talk to him, show him your wonderful haiku and than we can write the truly revolutionary show we've always dreamt of!" cried the boy, who was known formally as Hotohiri Masao Rei Tomoe Yahiko Myoujin. He was mainly known as Yahiko.  
"He.he's so handsome." breathed the woman known as Kaoru.  
"Yeah well if you're into that sort of thing." said Yahiko.  
Meanwhile on the other side of the curtain, the tall man with the white cape, named Hiko Zanza, commonly known as Master Hiko, was talking to a wealthy Duchess, known as Megumi. "So you'll pay for the production of a play, and turning the Moulin Rurouni into a theater if you spend the night with the Sparkling Swordsman?"  
"Yes, and only if.you know.he's good."  
"Oh believe me, well not me.anyway, from what I've heard.he's good alright, even if he is a baka deshi."  
"Excellent."  
As these conversations were going on, Shinta the Sparkling Swordsman began to sing:  
(Sung to the tune of "Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend")  
  
The Japanese are glad to die, for blood.  
The slash of the sword may be, really quite lethal,  
But katanas are a guy's best friend.  
Katanas may be grand but if t you don't know how to use it, you are  
screwed.  
Men grow cold as blood don't flow and we all lose are lives in the end  
But reverse-blade or normal these swords won't lose their edge  
  
Katanas are a guy's best friend  
  
We are living in a violent world, and I am a violent guy  
Talk to me Hiko Zanza tell me all about it  
  
Katanas.are a.GUY'S.BEST.friend.  
  
"So that's the Sparkling Swordsman.he's perfect," purred Megumi.  
"Shinta.the Sparkling Swordsman." cooed Kaoru.  
  
Shinta the Sparkling Swordsman walked over to Kaoru's table and said, "Let's sword fight!" Kaoru was speechless. He let out an, "Oro?" and turned to the crowd confused. He whipped a sword out of nowhere and the crowd cheered, "It's Samurai's choice!" announced Shinta, with that he spun around, red hair glinting in the lighting to Kaoru and held his sword to her as a challenge. She took the challenge.  
"Hit him with your most modern haiku!" cried Yahiko.  
With that Shinta and Kaoru sparred among the other people.  
"Um, Yahiko said you wanted haiku for your show!" yelled Kaoru over the din of clashing swords.  
Shinta grinned flirtatiously, "Oh he did he, I love a little haiku after tea!"  
"So when I come see you later I'll show you some of my haiku?" shouted Kaoru.  
"You better," replied Shinta.  
  
Afterwards, Kaoru returned to her seat to see that Shinta in his silken boxer short glory was back on the trapeze. The band starting up again, "Reverse-blade or normal these swords won't lose their edge. katanas.are a guy's.best." he began gasping for breath, than suddenly he fell to the ground.  
  
"Kenshin? Kenshin wake up! I brought you some soup!" said Kaoru as she gently shook Kenshin awake. Kenshin stared up at her with large, innocent amethyst eyes and fever-flushed face. "Aw, you must be so sick. Well I'm just letting you know it's Christmas Eve and Master Hiko and Saitou have arrived. Sanosuke and Megumi as well as Dr. Gensai, Ayame and Suzume will be coming soon."  
In a slurred, sleep drenched voice that was almost sane Kenshin said, "My name is Shinta, the Sparkling Swordsman, I thought you were going to bring me soup earlier.and some haiku."  
Kaoru stared at him confused, "Well you were sleeping so peacefully, well peacefully if you ignore the random bouts of singing 'Katanas are a guy's best friend'. But other than that I just didn't want to wake you," She put her hand to his forehead, it was still warm, "You are still quite ill, you should just stay in bed."  
Kenshin nodded. As Kaoru left he began to fall asleep again, that's when he realized what she said, Master Hiko is here? He must want to see his Sparkling Swordsman. With that Kenshin shucked his clothes down to his boxers (or whatever kind of undergarments they wore back than.we'll just say boxers.) and grabbed his sakabatou and left his room. He could hear talking in the next room.  
"Ah, so my baka deshei is ill. That's much too bad," said Master Hiko.  
"Yes, quite, he's had a horrible cough and a very high fever, I'd have to say he's a bit delirious." informed Kaoru.  
Suddenly Kenshin leapt into the room and began singing and dancing.  
"The slash of a sword may be, really quite lethal but katanas are a guy's best friend." he sang the whole song, everybody was dumbfounded as the little rurouni ran around singing (very off-key) in his underwear around Master Hiko, Saitou, Kaoru and Yahiko. Yahiko immediately fell to the ground completely in stitches from laughing so hard. Kaoru put her head in her hands, blushing furiously.  
Saitou rolled his eyes as he lit a cigarette, "Miss Kamiya, that's beyond delirious.he's off the deep end.what a moron."  
Master Hiko, totally humiliated by his baka deshei grabbed Kenshin by the arm and yelled at him, "No baka! If you are ill you stay in bed! Now go!" he said as he tossed him across the room. This angered Kenshin.  
"Hiko Zanza, this is not how you treat your star gigolo. I, Shinta the Sparkling Swordsman will avenge my dignity!" he leapt in the air with god-like speed up onto Master Hiko and promptly began chewing his head.  
"Humph, some dignity." grumbled Saitou sarcastically as he took a drag on his cigarette.  
"KENSHIN!" screamed Kaoru as she grabbed Kenshin's hair as pulled him off Master Hiko and dragged him back to his room. "I've never been so humiliated! You were acting like a loon! Stay here until you are well!" With that she conked him on the head, eyes swirling, he drifted back to sleep.  
  
The next morning, Christmas morning Kenshin awoke. He felt much better, his fever broke during the night. He got up and shivered he looked down and blushed, he was only in his boxers. He quickly put on his violet gi and hakama. He slipped out of his room and proceeded making breakfast, humming a tune that sounded familiar, but he couldn't recall where it came from.  
"So 'Shinta the Sparkling Swordsman', what are you cooking?" asked Saitou as he wandered into the kitchen, he and Hiko were staying at the dojo.  
"Oro?" squeaked Kenshin.  
"Oh come on, don't tell me you don't remember." teased Saitou maliciously as he lit up another cigarette.  
"No, I don't under stand, that I don't. What are you talking about?" asked Kenshin.  
Saitou laughed, "Nevermind."  
Later that morning when everybody was eating breakfast they all were sneaking in comments about things like "Shinta the Sparkling Swordsman", "gigolos" and "Katanas are a guy's best friend". Kenshin of course didn't have the foggiest idea of what they were talking about.  
  
Than all of a sudden Kenshin chirped, "Hey, I had the weirdest dream, that I did."  
  
The End! 


End file.
